I’m now deleted from pof.com. I’ve deleted all my other dating accounts for the time being. I’m done. Some of my friends tell me I should play the field – but that is not me. Having found someone I quite like, I want to explore whether there is a relationship to be had. I don’t want any distractions.
The temptation with on-line dating is the candy shop mentality. “Ooo, lets not get too involved here as there might be someone better down the line”. In my life I have found that the grass is rarely greener on the other side. So if you find something good, grab it now, hold on and be prepared to become a teenager again. It’s really a good feeling!
So what have a learned from on-line dating? This is order of importance:
- Be a better man. Read the manosphere and get some passions and interests. This is the fundamental that shines through in your profile, your messaging and eventually in your conversations as and when you meet her
- Be yourself. If only because it is easier. She will like you, maybe even grow to love you, for who you are
- Decide what you want. Only then can you decide what you want in a relationship or a woman
- Be flirty and sexual form the start. Relationships start from the sexual. She wants you to find her attractive. The “spark” & “chemistry” she wants springs from flirting. Who cares what you do for a living? It is not looks (well not that much) but attitude and confidence. You don’t have to drive it hard, it will gain a momentum of its own. When being flirty, suggest, infer, be funny, use metaphors this stands out from the crowd
- Do not be crude or lewd – there is too much of this and you are doomed to failure; it comes across as gross and desperate
The guys on return of kings, krauserpua and other are onto something. There are real nuggets in there. You don’t have to apply them verbatim – in fact I would council do not. Things that do work are the things that are naturally human: touching as you talk, humour, escalating (flirting) and listening. These things actually feel natural when you are with someone you quite like. If they don’t, you are not with the right person.
Actually it is all very simple. It is not rocket science. It is a game, the game. I intent to keep applying it. If it doesn’t work there are plenty of fish