Reading and learning about game is no substitute to running it real life. Running it in real life is invigorating. Almost like a narcotic. I think of it like “the quickening” – if you have seen the movie Highlander you get the picture. It is not just an a method of picking up but really enriches your life. Here are a couple of anecdotes from the past 24 hours to illustrate.
Scene 1 – the coffee shop
I was due to meet a great friend of mine – we have known each other for 30 years! The venue was set at a well known bar in Covent Garden around 6pm. I was running early and he late. London is all glammed up for Christmas – the west end is done particularly well. Even early evening the place is absolutely heaving. Tourists. Office parties. You name it. After wandering around a bit, looking at the sights – and it was also quite cold – I decided to drop into a Cafe Nero for a mug of tea to kill half an hour or so + catch up on some last minute work emails that needed dealing with.
At this point I decided the switch on and just observe what was going on around me; be completely passive & just watch the dynamics. Coffee shops really are a microcosm of life. A couple sat at a table both silently ignoring each other while they facebooked or something on their phones. I was there for 30 minutes and not a word was exchanged – doesn’t bode well for their future. A couple of teenage girls (15-16 y/o) in the queue ahead of me ordering 2000 calories. Some sort of coffee with a pile of cream on it and a large chocolate muffin each; this does not bode well for their figures in the future. Neither looked athletic so FUBs in the making if they were not careful.
Service in the queue was pretty slow. I tried not to get frustrated at the ineptness of the Baristae. A cute girl comes and joins the queue behind me – a 6 possibly 7. I briefly make eye contact & she smiles. I decide I don’t have time for anything other than get tea, send important emails, meet friend, drink beer. During the 4 minutes or so we wait to get served, she manages to nudge or bump me 2 or 3 times. All accidentally of course. Except I don’t think it was accidental. I pass a comment or 2 to her as I get served and wander off to find a seat.
On reflection I mentally kick myself in the arse for passing an opportunity. She sits down across the other side of the room and occasionally looks over (I think as wasn’t wearing my specs at that point). Still I have a plan for tonight and seeing my friend is important. Besides there are plenty more fish…..
Scene 2 – the bar
Fast forward to the bar. I arrive first so pick a point at the bar and order a couple of beers. If you read my previous diatribes, I try to control my drinking much more now and opt for bottled Sol with a bit of lime in it. I find a perch near the bar and go back into watch mode. Scoping out the women in the bar while I wait for my friend.
There were a couple of office do’s going on and the girls were generally well dolled up. I did not see any obese women, but there were a few who could get that way if not careful in a few years. Right next to me was a woman, voluptuous would be a good description. Curves in the right places (I don’t like them too thin and stick like – but each to his own). When I first saw her she was sporting a gold engagement ring with a fuck off diamond on it. She started chatting to a guy and then went off the the ladies. When she came back – no ring. Lucky guy tonight methinks.
I start looking around. When I drive I alternate short and long distance observation. This helps get a better mental picture of what is going on and prepare well ahead if there are any problems. I do the same in the bar. Looking from woman to woman to see if there is any eye contact.
Then looking at the more general ebb and flow of people and movement through the bar. It strikes me that there seems to be a cycle. At one stage there are loads of women around and few blokes. Within a few minutes the blokes all arrive and the girls filter away (somewhere). You can then see all the guys look at each other and say – “where have all the girls gone?”. “lets go some place else”. The bar empties and the cycle starts again as new girls arrive. When I pointed this out to my buddy, a bit later on, he was astonished.
We tried to start timing it and then observe the same groups of people within the overall movement. I would say: “watch this -these girls will be back in half an hour”. And they were. Anyone would think we were mind readers. But really it was picking up on patterns and cues in behaviour.
So we had a good evening and he said he had to go. I had about three quarters of a beer left so said I would hang around and drink it so he should go. Then it happened. I had not moved from the bar all evening. Two groups came to the bar to order. Each comprised of 3 girls and 3 or 4 guys. The groups were almost atomic in structure. The girls as the nucleus with the guys as beta orbiters in the friend zone.
Of the 2nd group a cute brunette caught my eye. So I thought “will give it a shot”. I made eye contact. I must say it was thrilling when she turned them back on me. Eye fucking a new woman is one of the best things a man gets . We do this for a few minutes. Your pulse quickens. Not sure how the guys she was talking to must have taken that. Imagine trying to get off with a girl while she is scoping out the bar. Now the approach. I never have a problem with this aspect.
I stepped over and said “Boy, you look really bored”. “Yes” she said “I am”. You may not get this from my prosaic written word, but I like taking the piss out of people. Word play and pushing the envelope. We got on like a house on fire. Very intense, close conversation. We discussed her job, what she went for in a man – all that kind of stuff (to be honest I forgot most of it apart from the fact she was some sort of recruitment person – so I implied she kept the shrunked heads of her ex’s in a box under the bed). Brushing her cheek to talk in her ear. Moving her hair out of the way. This stuff is all very natural if you let it.
I got rejected in the end – I think it was mutually engineered. The trigger was when she reached and took my left hand.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Oh I’m checking for a wedding ring” she said
Ding ding ding ding red alert flashed through my brain – I just read The predatory female . Not interested in being boy friend material after 45 mins of flirting.
“No, I’m divorced” temperature drops down. “I have to go see my friend, I’ll be back” she says. “Bye – see ya”
I leave. This was never going to work out. Logistics, age. She was on the hunt. Not so much me. I really enjoyed the flirt. This is the 2nd time this has happened over the past few weeks. It does wonders for confidence. When a 50 year old divorced bloke can attract a 20 something cute girl in a bar when there are much younger specimens around.
BTW it was not just the girls I ended up chatting with. The guys stared clustering. Is this gravitas being developed? Who knows. Just play the hand that is dealt.As I say,I really enjoyed the flirt. Next time push and escalate further and faster. The old man may still have what it takes!
So what does this have to do with game? Well confidence and awareness. I’ve been changing my persona and suspect that is starting to project in confidence – perhaps a glimmer of light here. Plus I am much more alert and aware what is going on.
My message to others – JFDI – its fun. You have to be in the game to win it.